Robin the Midwife
by YJTuttle
Summary: A response to a prompt posted on Live Journal. Poor Robin gets in over his head when he's trapped with a woman about to give birth. I should probably add a warning for EXTREME fluff. Update: A sequel! Mary Gallagher has the best show and tell ever!
1. Robin the Midwife

My first YJ fic! Yay! This was in response to a prompt posted on LiveJournal which went like this:

It's a regular mission for young justice until something happens. Perhaps building collapse or a hold up, but for whatever reason Robin suddenly finds himself alone, trapped, with a civilian woman who is going into premature labour.

He communicates with his team via Megan's mind link but when it comes down to it, he has to help this woman give birth alone and it's disgusting and gross and completely and utterly awe inspiring.

Bonus: He's in a bit of a daze for a while afterwards, completely amazed at what he's seen. The team find this adorable.

Bonus 2: Corny I know but the woman decides to name her baby Robin after him.

It struck me as a fun prompt so I wrote a response for it. Anyone who has read the fill, note that I've tried to fix some of the little grammar mistakes.

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><p>Batman was paranoid. Everyone and their dog knew it. The man had a plan for every possibility that could ever exist in any universe he could ever possibly encounter.<p>

At least, that was what Robin had thought until now. Why hadn't Batman ever prepared him for this situation?

Dust fell from the ceiling as the partially collapsed building shook from the fight above. Robin cursed and held his cape over his companion. This was not good. Not good at all.

Why the heck didn't anything ever turn out the way it was supposed to? It was supposed to be a simple mission. Simple! And somehow it had all gone to hell in a hand basket.

Civilians. They always complicated everything.

The woman on the ground beside him groaned and breathed in sharply. Robin looked up at the ceiling as if searching for some sort of answer to life and all his worries before turning his attention to the woman.

"All right, you're going to be okay," he said, trying to keep his voice from shaking. "You're going to be just fine."

The woman managed a small, gentle smile. "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about," Robin said as he gave her hand a little squeeze.

"Right." She let out a shaky laugh. "These things never happen at a convenient time. I didn't even make it to the hospital the last time. Just pulled up when all of a sudden, there she came. My poor, poor husband just had enough time to catch her."

Robin's eyes widened as he frantically searched his memory for all he knew about babies and labour. But all he could recall were stupid TV shows where women spent hours in the hospital yelling and screaming about how much it hurt to push out a baby and how it was all their husband's fault and how dare they and, and why the heck would a kid want to be born into a situation like that and-

"You going to be okay? Please don't throw up on me," the woman said, snapping Robin out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah. But doesn't this, you know, take hours or something?"

The woman gave his hand a sympathetic squeeze. "Not in my family. We were built for making babies I guess." Robin paled and licked his lips. "It'll be okay. I'm sure we'll be pulled out before she makes her debut."

Robin cast an doubtful glance up at the ceiling again. His mental link with the rest of the team had been cut off. Either M'gann was out, or they were all just focussing on clearing the threat before they came after him.

"Don't you have something in your belt that can help us out here? A 'how to' guide, maybe?"

Robin couldn't help but grin at her teasing. "Sorry, fresh out. But how hard can it be, right?"

"Well, my husband managed," she said with a shrug. Suddenly she whimpered and tensed, nearly breaking Robin's hand in the process.

"Hey, hey, hey, you okay?" Robin asked, his heart rate picking up speed.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Sorry about your hand."

"S'okay. Nothing compared to Killer Croc's grip… Does it hurt?"

She gave him a thoughtful look before smirking. "Don't believe what you see on TV. This is a natural process. All these women get it in their heads that it's supposed to be this excruciatingly painful thing and so they get all tense and that's what makes it really hurt. If you just relax and let your body do its thing it's not too bad. It's a little painful, but more uncomfortable than anything else."

Robin let out a sigh of relief. "Okay, okay then. Just relax. Breathe in, breathe out." Despite her advice, he demonstrated how he had seen it done on TV. The woman followed his lead but ended up giggling.

"You're going to pass out if you keep doing that," she said gently and it took Robin a moment to realize he was one step away from hyperventilating. "I'd really prefer if you stayed conscious."

"Right, right." Robin took a deep, steadying breath. "I… right. How long do you think?"

The woman grimaced and tightened her grip. "Sorry, I think it'll happen sooner than we'd both like…" She paused and gave him a sympathetic look. "Okay, get a hold of yourself because I don't think you're going to like what I have to say."

"You're right, I won't, so don't." Before she could protest, Robin pried his hand out of hers and took off his gloves. Tapping a compartment on his belt, he filled his hands with sanitizer. It was the best he could do. He really wished he had some sort of kettle and water in his belt. Wasn't he supposed to boil water and get hot towels or something?

"Okay, I guess I just need to take a peek and see where we're at," he gulped, saying the words that she had been about to say.

Clearing his throat, Robin moved away from the woman's side and to her feet. "Okay, get a hold of yourself Rob," he muttered to himself and he lifted up her skirt. "Oh golly." He shut his eyes for a second before taking another peek. He tapped his mask to get a reading on how far she was dilated. Definitely not the kind of measurements the technology in his mask was designed to take, but it did the job. The very disgusting, gross job. "I've got it at ten centimetres."

"Whoa, um, okay. Stay cool kid, because that's pretty what she needs to come out."

Robin nodded and looked up to the woman, meeting her eyes. "You sure. Listen, maybe if you stand on your head, she won't-"

"Robin," she scolded, "you're being ridiculous."

"Ridiculous? Me, no. Look, it's easy!" Robin leapt backwards in the air and did a flip before landing on his hands. He walked over to her on his hands. "See, easy, right?"

She gave him an incredulous look before stifling a moan. "I'm really sorry, Robin."

Robin tumbled back onto his knees and brushed the woman's blond hair out of her face. "No, I'm sorry. I should be handling this better but… but Batman _never_ taught me what to do in this situation."

"Well, maybe that just means you can teach him a thing or two when this is all over," she managed to say before closing her eyes tightly. "Robin…"

"Okay, game time. Get traught or… get traught."

Robin moved back to her legs. What was- oh disgusting! Oh gosh, he couldn't do this. Oh gross! There was liquid and- and- oh gross!

"Snap out of it, here she comes," he growled to himself. The next few moments were probably the most terrifying in his life but his actions almost seemed automatic and soon there was a squirming bundle of slimy baby in his arms.

"She looks like an cross between an alien and an old man," Robin said as he peered down at the baby in his arms. The baby stopped squirming and opened her eyes, cooing softly. Robin's heart melted. "The most beautiful old man alien I've ever seen."

It was so awesome. Not just the "oh cool" kind of awesome. It really was awe-inspiring. Robin had been in the business so long, had seen so much death and destruction. He had been there when his own parents had met their end. But in this moment he had seen life- new life. He had been there at the very start of this little girl's life adventure. Asterous. Way asterous.

Taking off his cape, Robin gently wrapped it around the baby and rocked her gently. He looked up to meet the woman's gaze and grinned. "Wow."

She gave a tired laugh. "Yeah. Wow."

Robin made no move to give the baby to her mother. He just sat there, watching, dumbstruck.

Suddenly, there was a creak and then a loud noise as the ceiling above them was ripped back. Turning to look over his shoulder, Robin found Superboy and Wally peering in through the opening.

"We found him!" Superboy called.

"Dude! Robin! You all right?"

Robin could only manage a dopey grin and a small nod. A second later, Wally was beside him, peering over his shoulder at the baby in his arms. "Oh… uh…"

"Wow. The word your looking for is wow," Robin whispered as the baby curled her tiny first around his finger.

"Yeah, uh, wow," Wally agreed as he squatted down. "You okay, ma'am?"

The woman nodded. "I'm not so sure about Robin though."

Robin looked at her and grinned. "Never better. I just… wow!" 

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><p>Pretty soon, mother and baby were settled on a gurney about to be loaded into an ambulance. Robin stood back, watching. He was pretty sure that once they were out of sight, everything would hit him and he'd collapse. His legs already felt like jelly.<p>

"Robin?" The woman stopped the paramedics and motioned over the Robin.

"Yes ma'am?" he asked, stepping up.

"I know this sounds really corny and all, but… would you mind if I named her after you?"

Robin was momentarily stunned. "Dick's not a girl's- oh, uh, Robin? You want to name her Robin?" he said quickly.

The woman smiled and patted his hand. "Yes, Robin," she replied, acting as though she never heard the slip. "Do you mind?"

"No, uh, I mean, that would be great. A real honor."

"But," she said, as if sensing there was something else he wanted to say.

"Robin's a great name," Robin smiled, "if I do say so myself. But… If I have a say…"

"I think you've earned it," the woman laughed.

"Well then… can you came her Mary?"

The woman blinked in confusion but then smiled. "Of course. Mary's a beautiful name."

Robin looked around to make sure no one else was too close, before leaning in and stroking the baby's soft tuft of hair. "It was my mother's name." He probably shouldn't have told her that, but it felt right.

She nodded. "Thank-you for letting me use it then." They both smiled. "Now, don't forget to teach Batman everything you know about delivering babies. You're an expert now."

Robin laughed his signature laugh and rested his hands on his hips. "Don't worry, I will. I just hope I'm there to see it when he has to do this."

"Send me pictures. Oh, and how am I supposed to get your cape back to you?"

Robin gazed down at the baby, still wrapped in his cape. "Keep it. It looks good on her."

The woman laughed and nodded to the paramedics. "Thanks again."

Robin nodded and stepped back, watching silently as the ambulance drove off. From behind him, Wally crept up and put a hand on his shoulder. "So… Robin the midwife, eh?"

Robin scowled. "Shut up."

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><p>I feel I should add some sort of commentary about this woman and her little speech about childbirth not being excuriatingly painful. It's almost a direct quote from my own mama who has eight children. I figure she knows what she is talking about more than the folks who write scripts for television.<p>

Also, the delivering the baby in the car I got from two seperate incidents. My sister delivered her own baby just as she and her husband pulled up to the hospital. And a friend of mine delivered his wife's baby in the car because the hospital staff didn't get out there fast enough.


	2. Show and Tell

I know, I know, I still have to finish Home is Where the Hurt is. But I have some major writer's block. And I was thinking the other night and this popped into my head. I wasn't planning on a sequel to this, but, meh, a girl can change her mind. Hope y'all enjoy.

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><p>Show and tell. It was a day when you got three minutes to show and talk about your favorite possession to the rest of the class. She had waited patiently for two long months for her turn to come up. The other kids had brought things like stuffed toys, baseball cards, pictures, and other odds and ends. And while she was sure that they were all very important to the various owners, they were nothing compared to what she was going to bring.<p>

Finally, her day had come but first she and the rest of the class had to sit through Warren McGinnis and his bug collection. His very big bug collection. Who would want to collect bugs? Boys were gross.

"Thank-you, Warren, that was very interesting," the teacher finally said. "Mary, it's your turn."

With a giant grin, Mary Gallagher jumped to her feet and raced to the front of the class. Clearing her throat theatrically, she pulled out her most prized possession. "This is my baby blanket!" she announced. "I know it doesn't look like a baby blanket. And it doesn't even feel like a baby blanket."

It was true. Yellow and black were definitely not traditional colors for a baby blanket. And the material was not necessarily warm or soft. In fact, Mary wasn't quite sure what it was made out of. At times it was like any other material, but if you fanned it out in a certain way, it became stiff.

"Because it's not," Mary continued and her smile grew bigger. "It's really Robin's cape! As in Batman and Robin!"

At one of the closest tables, Jimmy Poole snorted. "Yeah right!"

Mary felt her cheeks grow hot. "It really is! He gave it to me when I was born! Mommy was trapped in a building and I was going to be born and Robin was there and helped her! And then he gave me his cape to keep me warm!"

"You're such a liar, Mary Gallagher!"

"Am not!"

"Am too!"

"Am not!" Mary said, stamping her foot. "You can ask my mommy if you don't believe me! Robin helped me be born and he gave me his cape and he asked mommy to name me after his mommy which is why my name is Mary!" Mary's hands flew to her mouth. She wasn't supposed to tell that part of the story to anyone.

"Robin has a mom!" someone cried.

"Of course he has a mom, stupid! Everyone has a mom!" someone else said.

"We don't say that word here," the teacher scolded.

"Batman's married?"

"Robin's not Batman's kid!"

"Yeah he is!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Well, well, well, how fun!"

The room fell silent as the children stopped arguing with each other and turned to the man in the doorway. It was a man that every child in Gotham knew and feared. The Joker.

The clown leaned in the doorway, playing with a yo-yo. Behind him in the hall were two scary looking dogs that sounded like they were giggling.

One of the kids screamed.

"Shhh! Indoor voices kiddies! This isn't a zoo!" Joker threw his head back and laughed. "Oh I am so funny!" he said, wiping a tear away from his eye.

Mary didn't quite get what was so funny about that. And, even though she was scared, she was more irritated by the fact that her show and tell had just gone from bad to worse. It was supposed to be the best day ever. And now there was a bad guy in the doorway, laughing at a joke no one understood.

"I was just on my way to the principal's office when I heard all the hullabaloo in here. Hullabaloo. Hullabaloo. Quick kiddies, how do you spell that?" No one dared answer. "Come on! It's a word everyone should know!"

"H-A-L-A-B-A-L-U!" Warren shouted out, his voice shaking with terror.

The Joker looked at him as if he had grown two heads and then let out a sigh. "What has happened to our education system? I suppose I should blame the government." He turned his attention to the teacher. "But I guess I can settle for blaming you," he said, his voice low and dangerous. "Boys, our beef with the principal will have to wait." And with that, he stepped into the classroom, his dogs behind him, and advanced on the teacher. The teacher cried out and backed up behind her desk.

Her legs shaking in fear, Mary watched as the clown and dogs stepped past her. Then she looked down at the cape in her hands. Robin's cape. Her cape. Her superhero cape.

Draping it over her shoulders made her feel a lot braver. Her knees stopped shaking and she stood a little taller. Almost without thinking, she grabbed a brush from the chalk board and threw it at The Joker's back. "Hey! Leave her alone!"

Joker stopped in his tracks and looked over his shoulder at her. Then he turned fully and squished his cheeks with his fists. "Oh how a-dorable! Look boys, a little girl in a cape thinks she can stop me! Ahahaha!" The Joker grabbed his stomach and bent over, laughing up a storm. Mary's face grew hot and she grabbed another chalk brush. The dogs growled at her, which scared her a little but she tried not to show it and glared at them. One of the dogs came closer. Mary backed up, momentarily frightened but then threw the brush at it. It hit him on the nose and the dog yipped.

The Joker suddenly stopped laughing. "Hey! Do I throw things at your hyenas?" He looked back at the teacher. "No hullabaloo and now your kids don't know their manners? Boys! Show this teacher what happens to rotten educators while I teach this little girl how to respect her elders!"

The dogs growled and turned on the teacher, running towards her. The teacher screamed. Mary, her confidence gone, screamed too when the Joker pulled out a knife. "Now, let's see, why don't we-"

He was cut off by something hitting the knife, knocking it out of his hands. Something else flew past Mary and she heard the dogs whimper.

"Get down!" a deep voice cried. Mary dropped to the ground as a dark shadow crossed over her. The shadow tackled Joker to the ground. "Nightwing, clear out the children. Robin, help the teacher."

Someone scooped Mary up and a moment later, she was out in the hall. A man dressed in black with a blue bird on his chest knelt gently set her down. "Stay here, okay. I'm going to get the other children." Mary nodded vigorously and the man left. Wrapping her cape tightly around her, Mary waited and soon the man was bringing more children out. "All right, follow me. We're going to go outside where it's safe."

The man led the way through the halls, Mary and the other children following him. Very soon they were outside. "Is everyone okay?" the man asked. The children nodded dumbly.

"Who are you?" Warren asked suspiciously.

"My name's Nightwing. I'll stay with you until this is all over. Is that okay?"

"Nightwing?" Jimmy repeated. "I've never heard of ya!"

"That's all right, not many people have," Nightwing replied with a shrug.

Suddenly a bunch of cop cars pulled up and policemen stormed into the school. Not long after, they led the Joker out in handcuffs. Batman and Robin followed behind them with the teacher who was holding her arm close to her. Batman and Robin led her to an ambulance.

"Is she okay?" Mary asked, biting her bottom lip as she looked up to Nightwing with big eyes.

"She's all right," Nightwing assured her. "She's just going to take a little trip to the hospital to be on the safe side."

"We're good to go now, Nightwing," Robin said, coming up to join Nightwing. Mary clutched her cape tightly. Robin. It was really Robin. "Joker's in custody."

"Any idea why he was going after Peterson?" Nightwing asked.

Robin just shrugged. "Not yet, but we'll find out."

"Hey! You're Robin!" Jimmy cried, pointing a finger up at him.

Robin looked a little surprised and took a little step back. Jimmy sounded like he was accusing him. "Yeah, I am."

"Did you give her this cape?" Jimmy demanded, grabbed the corner of Mary's cape and tugging it.

"Hey, let go!" Mary cried, ripping it out of his grip.

Robin studied her for a moment and then the cape. "I don't think so," he finally said.

"See! I knew you were lying!"

"I am not! He really did give it to me! Remember Robin! You helped my mommy! And you gave me your cape as a baby blanket!"

"You're lying!" Jimmy shouted.

"Am not!"

"Am too!"

"Hey, wait, hold it," Nightwing said, stepping between them. He knelt down in front of Mary. "Can I see that cape for a second?"

Mary looked from Robin to Nightwing, then to her cape and back to Nightwing. "Okay," she said grudgingly.

Nightwing carefully took it from her and looked it over. A big grin crossed his face. "Hey, I remember now. You're Mary, right?"

Mary blinked. "How did you know my name?"

Nightwing grinned. "Because that's what I asked your mom to name you," he whispered.

"You're Robin!" Mary whispered back, excited.

Nightwing nodded. "I used to be. You know, you were the first baby I delivered."

"Really? Did you deliver anymore?"

"A few," Nightwing replied.

Mary frowned, suddenly concerned. "Is that why you don't have a cape anymore?"

Nightwing titled his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you delivered so many babies, you must've run out of capes!"

Nightwing laughed and ruffled her hair. "Don't worry, you were to only one I gave a cape to."

That made Mary feel a little better. "So why are you Nightwing now?"

"I grew up."

"Oh. I guess that makes sense," Mary said with a thoughtful nod. "When I grow up, you think I could be a superhero? I already have a cape!"

"Yeah, you do," Nightwing said with a little grin. "You can be anything you want to be. But being a superhero is pretty dangerous."

"I know."

"So maybe you ought to finish kindergarten before you decide on anything."

Mary thought about that for a moment. "Well… I guess that's a good idea. Maybe I should wait until grade four. My mommy said my brother could have a paper route when he's in grade four. And being a superhero is kind of the same, right?"

Nightwing gave her a funny look as if he didn't quite get the connection. "Sure. That sounds like a good plan."

"Nightwing!" Batman called sternly.

Nithwing winced a little. "Ooops, that's the boss. I've gotta get going." He handed the cape back to Mary and ruffled her hair again. "You be a good girl, huh?"

"Okay!" And then, without warning, Mary threw her arms around him. "Thank-you for saving me, Nightwing. Again!"

"Anytime."

"Promise?"

"Promise," Robin said, crossing his heart. "You just try to stay out of trouble though, okay."

"I promise!"

"Good girl." And with that, Nightwing, Batman and Robin shot their guns and were pulled into the sky. Mary watched in awe. She was definitely going to be a superhero when she grew up.

Smiling broadly, Mary turned to Jimmy. "Told ya!"

Best show and tell ever.

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><p>This might actually be longer than the original story. Oh well.<p> 


End file.
